


Lethal Attraction (aka Weapons For Dummies)

by Huntress69



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: First Time, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-18
Updated: 2013-03-18
Packaged: 2017-12-05 16:50:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/725598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntress69/pseuds/Huntress69
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny needs a new gun, so Steve obliges and lets Danny choose one from his collection; Steve has issues with himself. (Okay, I admit it, I like an insecure Steve!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lethal Attraction (aka Weapons For Dummies)

**Disclaimer: Danny and Steve are not mine. If they were, I would be living these stories instead of writing them.**

_The weapons, in the order in which they are mentioned in the fic: HKP30; Ruger; S &W M&P Glock; Beretta Cougar; Beretta PX4; Beretta Vertec; Jericho 941; FNP9; Galil Ace; Uzi; HK417; Jericho Eagle; Jericho Desert Eagle; Bul Cherokee; Bul M5; M136; Tavor; Springfield XD; Spectre M4; Steyr; Benelli; Calico; M202; Simonov PTRS_

**************

Steve and Danny had just finished a case and needed to change their clothing. 

Being that Steve was driving, they ended up at his house first.

"I need a new gun," Danny sighed, looking his over. "This one is dead, thanks to a truck," he gave Steve a death glare, "and you."

"Well, I'm sorry I tackled you, Danny, and your gun flew out of your hand and into the middle of the road." Steve was trying to hide a smile. "Maybe next time I let the bad guys shoot you because you're not paying attention."

"I **was** paying attention," Danny insisted.

"To the drug dealers or the topless blonde selling hot dogs on the side of the road?"

Danny didn't answer that question. "My HK P30 gets smushed and Kono gets a date." He then added with a pout, "My Mother got it for me in Germany."

"Mary Ann gave me my Ruger SR9, which is now in the Pacific thanks to Chin." Steve bemoaned and then brightened. "But it's okay, on both our parts."

"How so?" Danny wanted to know. "I don't have another gun!"

"You can borrow one of mine." Steve grinned. "And if you're a good boy, I'll let you keep the one you choose."

"Fine, I'll just browse at 'Guns R Us'." Danny stared into the glass casing in the spare room, where Steve kept his weapons, and decided on a Smith & Wesson M&P. Steve opened the locker where the ammo was stored, and Danny deftly loaded it with a 15 round magazine. "This wouldn't be my first choice, but my options are limited."

"I have some more upstairs if you want more of a selection." Steve went up to his room and Danny followed, watching Steve step into the closet.

"In your closet?" Danny watched as Steve moved some clothing aside and pushed open a section of the wall. "What the hell?!"

"I didn't know how you'd react, so I didn't want to show you." Steve waved his arm out. "It's not that I didn't trust you, I just thought you might get a bit upset." 

Danny glanced around the hidden storage area, which was enormous; inside there was a massive weapons stash. "Oh my fucking God!"

"I don't leave these in plain sight," Steve explained.

"Well, gee whiz, I have no idea why." Danny peered inside a crate. "How nice, you have a shitload of grenades - for home protection, I assume." He picked up a gun and stared, recognized the model after a moment, then moved on to the next one. "This is - Steve, how many of these are illegal?"

"I don't know; a few, I guess," Steve admitted. "I like to be prepared for anything."

"So do I, but I think you take it a bit over the top." Danny was staring around the room in awe. "Pick one so we can go."

"Do I take a Beretta or a Glock? And if I take a Beretta, which model? The Cougar, the PX4 or the Vertec?" Steve was happily babbling. "The Cougar gets me 15 9-milimeter rounds, the PX4 weighs a little less but it's bigger and holds 17, and the Vertec is just plain cool." He took a few down. "Maybe the Jericho 941? It's got a longer barrel. Do you like the FNP9? The Belgian's not only make great chocolates, they also whip up a terrific double action pistol, which, I may add, is based on the American-made Browning." Steve was like a kid in a candy store. "Then again, I could be different today and take both my Ace **and** Uzi."

"You have an Ace?" Danny's voice cracked. "A Galil Ace?" Steve tossed it to Danny, who looked it over. "This is an assault rifle, Steve, and both that and the Uzi," Danny noticed another one, "and the HK417 are illegal to own," he pointed out. "And just where did you get them?"

"The HK417 I got from a friend at Interpol, for Zweiter Weihnachtsfeiertag."

"Zwei...Weihntag...What?"

"Zweiter Weihnachtsfeiertag, also known as Saint Stephen's Day." Steve shrugged. "And as for the 2 others, four months with the Mousad." He smirked. "They were Hanukkah presents, along with two more Jericho's - both Eagles, 2 Bul's - a Cherokee and an M5 - and a Tavor. And the Uzi is the pistol model, not the rifle version."

"And that of course makes it okay." Danny grew wide eyed when he saw what Steve was holding now - he recognized it, having confiscated a few during a bust back in New Jersey. "Holy shit! No! You may not take an M136," he warned, "and I don't want to know where you got a grenade launcher either."

"I swiped it when I did some work with a marine contingent in Arizona." Steve shrugged as if it were no big deal. "I took it apart and Fed-Ex'd it to myself in five packages."

"Where'd you get the ammo?"

"I packed it in my luggage." Steve picked up the Tavor. "This baby **also** accessorizes with a grenade launcher."

Danny thought it best to ignore him and chose a familiar one. "Just take the Springfield XD," he suggested. "I've seen you with it before and I always assumed it was your favorite. Plus it's pretty accurate."

"My aim is accurate with all of them," Steve cracked. "Actually, my favorite is the Spectre M4 - it carries 50 rounds, but I didn't think you'd agree to me taking a submachine gun. Although if you do agree, we could take matching weapons. I'll take the Spectre; you can have your choice of the Steyr, the Benelli or the Calico. I have a 100 round magazine for that one."

"One more word, Steven, and you leave the house with a water pistol." Danny pointed to a large one in the corner. "What's that one?" 

Steve grinned like a madman, picking it up and hoisting it upon his shoulder. "This is a top of the line, state of the art, M202 FLASH multishot rocket launcher and flamethrower." He seemed positively gleeful. "And I've got four rockets too."

"Where the fuck did you get that?!"

"Catherine sent it to me for my birthday."

"Most people just send a Hallmark card." Danny rolled his eyes. "And dare I ask what you need a rocket launcher for? Never mind, don't answer that. And how exactly did she send it?"

"UPS," Steve told him. 

"Don't tell me - she packed the rockets in her luggage."

"Technically her carry-on; she was on a military transport and I arranged no search of her personal belongings."

"You can do that?" Danny asked. "How?"

"I was CIA, Danny, I told you that. I have friends everywhere."

Danny was backing out of the room when one last weapon caught his eye - he had seen photos of one when he did a report in high school. "Okay, handguns, normal. Submachine guns, why not? Sniper rifles from 4 different countries, including Communist China, and average/everyday American-made shotguns, I can deal. And being you're you, I can even understand grenades, a rocket launcher and a flamethrower, not to mention the 9 extra-large knives and the machete." He sighed quite loudly. "But enlighten me, Steve, what use do you have for a - oh God, please let me be wrong." Danny looked closer. "See, I hoped I was mistaken, but this **is** a Simonov PTRS anti-tank rifle, made by the Russians during the Second World War, right?"

"Wow, Danny, I'm impressed that you know it."

"I've seen many things here in pineapple-land, but I have YET TO SEE A TANK!"

"The day is young," Steve mused, going out to his bedroom and picking a clean shirt, taking his dirty one off and tossing it aside.

"Why must you do that?" Danny swallowed hard, silently ordering his dick to behave. When 'little-Danny' (who wasn't really so little) saw Steve shirtless he tended to swell.

"I'm sorry." Steve flushed pink. "I try to keep in shape, Danny, I really do."

"Keep in shape?" Danny's voice went up an octave.

"I tried going to a gym, but for some reason they asked me to leave." Steve frowned. "I only wanted to build up my biceps."

"Steve," Danny grabbed him by the arms, "take a good look in the mirror."

"I don't want to; I don't like looking in the mirror."

"Well you have to." Danny dragged him over. "What do you see?"

"My face is okay, I guess." Steve stared at his reflection. "But it's nothing special."

"Your face is nothing special," Danny repeated the words out loud; coming from Steve they sounded surreal.

"I know," Steve reiterated, pouting. "They used to call me a dork in school. Even when I played football, I was still a dork. Just because I liked science and got A's."

"Steve," Danny was starting to laugh, "I meant that your face **is** special. You're a - an extremely good-looking guy." 'And gorgeous, hunky, dreamy, and breathtaking also,' he added silently.

"Pffttt!" Steve brushed him off. "You're my best friend; you're supposed to say stuff like that."

" **I'm** your best friend?" Danny was taken aback. 

"You're my only friend," Steve muttered.

"I am not your only friend." Danny fought back his laughter the moment he saw Steve was serious. "You have Chin and Kono."

"I guess, and Chin's okay, but he does his own thing when we're off duty, and Kono's like a kid sister."

"You had a party two weeks ago, remember?" Danny was trying to cheer him up; a morose Steve McGarrett was not something he ever expected. "Lots of people were here."

"It was Mary Ann's party, her place is too small, and they were all her friends, not mine." Steve sat down, holding the shirt in his hands. "I try to make friends, Danny, I really do, but people don't usually like me."

"Everybody likes you, Steve," Danny soothed, feeling like he was talking to Grace; Steve sounded like an 8 year old.

"They tolerate me," Steve flat-out stated. "There's a difference."

"I like you." Danny was turning a slight shade of pink himself. "Even though you're an anal-retentive, compulsive, geeky, sanctimonious control-freak." He turned to the closet. "With a gun fetish."

"And despite all that, you're still my friend." Steve seemed rather happy with Danny's description of him, and wasn't even trying to hide it.

"I wouldn't lie to you, Steve," Danny continued, "and I think all of that, plus the other varied and deranged things you do, make me like you even more."

Steve was watching Danny's mouth, concentrating on his lips, catching sight of his tongue a few times. His brain clearly said, 'Let me get changed, I'll drive you to your place, you can get changed also and then we can go back to the office and finish the paperwork.' But what came out of his mouth were not the 28 words he was thinking; what came out were 4: "Can I kiss you?"

"WHAT?!"

"Oh shit." Steve looked at Danny, then at his shirt, then at the floor, and his cheeks flamed red. "I asked that out loud, didn't I?" He stared at Danny, waiting for his partner to say something...anything. But he was never so shocked at the words that comprised Danny's response.

"It's about fucking time," Danny said matter-of-factly. "I've been waiting 7 months, 3 weeks, 5 days and a miscellaneous number of hours and minutes for you." He caught his breath. "So yes, you may kiss me."

"I can kiss you?"

Danny looked up. "Please tell me he's not really this stupid."

Steve was suddenly whacked upside the head with a proverbial 2x4. "You love me." He was also grinning like a loon.

"He gets it in one. You know, Steve, I never figured you for an idi...MMMPPHHFF." Danny's words were cut off as Steve grabbed his tie and yanked his head down, his mouth sealing over Danny's, his tongue sliding between Danny's open lips, sucking on his tongue, making a meal of it. 

By the time Danny was allowed to breathe he couldn't form a coherent sentence. "You...you...."

"Damn," Steve panted, "you're a good kisser."

Danny finally got with the program. "I am so turned on right now you have no idea." 

"In case you're curious, I love you, too, Danno." Steve pulled Danny to the bed. "I want you so bad." He undid Danny's tie and slid it off, "Stop with the ties already," and grabbed Danny's shirt and ripped it, the buttons flying all over. Pushing Danny onto his back Steve knelt between his legs and pulled at his pants so hard that the button popped off of them and the zipper ripped and the boxers disappeared across the room. "You are mine." He then grabbed at his own and somehow managed to get them off. "Where's the damn lube?" He fumbled through the nightstand drawer, finally getting his hands on it. 

"What are you doing with lube?" Danny had visions of Steve naked with other men and it didn't sit well with him. "I thought...."

"I'm sorry you're not the first, Danny." Steve ducked his head. "But if you give me a chance, I swear, you'll be the last man in my life. I've sort of had these fantasies about you since the day we pulled our guns on each other."

Danny snatched the tube. "And I've had a few fantasies about you, too, and they all involved you on the bottom."

"You mean us as Ponch and Jon weren't the only ones you had?" Steve teased. 

"How did you know about that? Did they teach mind-reading in SEAL school, too?"

"Last week, when we got to that crime scene with the head in the box." Steve rolled over and pulled Danny on top of him. "Your exact words were, and I quote, 'In my TV cop fantasy I am Erik Estrada, you're the other guy.' I didn't put two and two together until just now."

"And you don't want to know the fantasies I had after you called me 'baby'."

"Oh, but I do, Danno." Steve grabbed Danny's ass and ground their cocks together. "I want to know each and every one of them."

"Later." Danny flipped the cap open. "After I've fucked you senseless." 

"Oh yeah, baby, do it."

Danny slicked himself and would have shoved right inside, but common sense took over and he eased a finger in, purposely going slow, drawing it out, making Steve moan. A second finger joined it and Danny just watched them slide in and out, his cock hard and leaking. 

"Danny, please, I need you."

"Steve, you have no idea how long I have been waiting to hear those words in that particular context," he sighed, "and I won't make you wait any longer." Danny's dick was self-guiding and found itself at home in Steve's ass. 

It was quick and dirty, and both men toppled over the edge in less than three minutes; both were panting and grinning at each other. 

"Damn, Steve, you're a cockslut."

"Only for you, Danno, nobody else, ever."

"You ripped one of my good shirts." Danny slid out and groaned at the loss of the heat. "So you owe me a new one." 

"I'll buy you two dozen," Steve licked his lips, "just so I can rip them off of you." 

"I'll hold you to it."

"But we do have to get back to work," Steve pointed out. "We have to finish those reports."

"Can we come back here after so I can play with **your** gun?"

"Which one?" Steve asked.

Danny didn't even bother to answer him; apparently his partner was genuinely dense sometimes. He borrowed one of Steve's tees, and picked up his tie, but Steve snatched it from his hands and tossed it out the window. 

"No tie."

"But, Steve...." Danny whined.

"If you leave the tie off, I'll get down on my knees later and show you what my tongue can do other than kissing you."

"No tie," Danny agreed. "And you still need a gun."

Steve decided on the Springfield, although he did try to sneak the Uzi out as well, but Danny caught him. 

"I'm surprised you don't have a supply of C4." Steve opened his mouth but Danny cut him off. "No, don't tell me, I'm better off not knowing." He blew the rest of his questions off; he did **not** need to know what else his partner had.

"Can I drive?" Steve asked.

"No."

They got into the car and Steve leaned over for a kiss, blowing in Danny's ear and whispering, "If you're extra nice to me, Danno, I'll let you play with my Nitroglycerine."

Danny blinked, certain he had heard wrong. "Where did you get Nitro?"

"I whipped it up in the kitchen the other night during half-time; it's amazing what you can do with household supplies."

"I thought you were making cupcakes."

"I had to keep busy while they were baking."

Danny opened his mouth, then shut it, thinking for a moment. "Stan's building a new hotel on a deserted spot on Maui and I happen to know that all the workers are off for the weekend...."

"Now, Danny," Steve chastised, "that hotel is good for commerce and it opened up about 700 new jobs."

"I guess so." Danny seemed deflated.

"But there's no reason why we can't drive off in a couple of his fancy cars in the middle of the night and take them into the mountains."

"You'd steal a car?"

"If it makes you happy, Danny, and I think that would."

"I hate the Benz." Danny sneered. "It's a gas-guzzling piece of crap."

"And the Lamborghini, too." Steve added. "It's green and deserves to die."

"Well alrighty then," Danny nodded, gunning the engine. "We now have plans for Monday after work."

"I'll bring the marshmallows."

"I'll bring the beer."

"We have to invite Kono or she'll never forgive us," Steve said. 

"And Chin, too," Danny agreed. "We'll make it a family night out."

**FIN**

**Author's Note:**

> Well, Steve could have a room like I describe. Who knows?


End file.
